He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
