I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
