i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
