He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Randomize
