You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
