A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
