and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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