We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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