Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
