You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
