Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
