Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
