So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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