problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
