Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
