Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
