you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
