i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Congratulations! We have a period
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
