I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
