her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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