They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
