Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
