a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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