i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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