The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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