A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
