My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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