you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
