I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize