Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
