i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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