update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
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