It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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