Are we in a gay sports bar?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
