Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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