is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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