Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize