I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
