it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
