If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
