I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
