Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize