This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
