I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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