U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
