did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
