You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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