if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
