my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
3pm strippers are depressing
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
