worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize