It's just like the Real World with babies
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
