im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
