I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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