I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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