I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
