i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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