I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
