Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
