why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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