it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
you made out with another girl for some wings
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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