Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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