I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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