his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize