Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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