I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
