You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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